“Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption. Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice.” - Ephesians 4:29-31.
Another basic quality of good communication is maintaining proper attitudes. There are some wrong attitudes that will certainly cut off communication, not just in marriage, but in all one's personal relationships. Some wrong attitudes are listed in the text for today. The first word that suggests such an attitude is the word “corrupt” which means “rotten.” There are cases of husbands who at the slightest provocation would use words like devil; thief; harlot, idiot, for their wives, etc. We should learn to convey love, encouragement, appreciation and empathy when we talk to our mates. Another bad attitude is described by the phrase evil speaking. These are words which are defamatory; as the aim is to put somebody down unjustly by speaking evil of him. The Bible is clear that we should “speak no evil one of another”, (James 4:11). That means we should not defame people, hurt their reputation, talk about their faults to anyone except to them personally (and even then we must do so without the poor attitudes that we are discoursing here). Malice is another negative attitude found in the last part of verse 31. A malicious person is one who is vicious in character”.
The passage also describes some right attitudes we should have in communication. In the last part of verse 29 we find the word edifying. Edifying means “building”. When we apply this to our spiritual lives it means “life-building”. When we edify we help stimulate another to grow in grace; we build up the other's life, in spite of his short comings. We see how this is to be done in the rest of verse 29. We are to use our mouth to edify, and use our communication to build up, that it may minister grace unto the hearers”.