“And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.” - Ephesians 4:32.
One measure for determining if we are edifying is whether or not our speech ministers grace, which means that which moves one to improve on his services to God. (Philippians 2:13). Does our communication with our married partner or with another member help build up their desire and give them the power to do God's will? Or, by our communication do we drag them down and decrease their power and desire to do God's will? Job's wife, for example, told Job to curse God and die (Job 2:9), which was no encouragement to Job.
Another right attitude is kindness. We are to be kind one to another, as Paul says in the text for today. Quality communication includes the attitude of kindness. This word means to treat others with an attitude that is “pleasant, good, and gracious.” Husband and wife ought to speak with a pleasant, gracious attitude toward each other. “Hatred stirreth up strifes: but love covereth all sins.” - Proverbs 10: 12.
Another positive attitude mentioned in the trext is tenderheartedness. The word tenderhearted means “compassionate.” We are also instructed here to forgive one another. How much should we forgive? As God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you”. That is total forgiveness. – Matthew 6.:15.